New hair!

I adore getting my hair done. Heck, I just adore spending time at the salon PERIOD! I'm digging my new colors :) yeah, they are a little out there, but I really like it. Cory says he doesn't hate it. But thats about all he's said lol. My kids are about to walk through the door and see it for the first time, so I can't wait to hear what they think about it lol. The only problem is that now I want to go play with my hair instead of studying, ugh. Oh! Did you notice how long its getting? I'm not going to let it get too much longer, but I'm mostly enjoying the length.

Blessed

I feel so blessed, for so many reasons. I know that I whine, complain, and have complete meltdowns quite often over the state of things in my life. But when I really stop to ponder all that I have...it humbles me and sends me to my knees in supplication and prompts me to overflow with gratitude for all that I've been blessed with.
There are times when its hard for me to keep my focus on the big picture. Yesterday was one of those days. Long story short, as we were walking out of the dr's office yesterday our pediatrition(whom we didn't see that day, but the nurse practitioner instead) stopped me specifically to ask how the nursing program was going for me. She also said that she wanted to tell me that even though its hard right now, I have to keep going. That even though my children may resent what I'm doing right now, that they will eventually realize that I'm not doing this just for myself, but for them too. That they will come to respect and honor me for the choice that I've made. She told me all of this without me even mentioning just how hard its been for the past little while. I firmly believe that she was prompted to tell me those things. I firmly believe that Heavenly Father needed to get that message to me and chose her to deliver it. Things like that show me how much I am blessed.
Another reason that I'm so blessed is in the family that I have, always willing to do what they can when they can. You all know who you are, and that I will forever appreciate the things you do.
Music is another amazing blessing in my life. The power that any given song holds just staggers me at times. I had one of those times this past Sunday during sacrament meeting. We sang Hymn 169, and the line " And silently we prayfor courage to accept thy will, to listen and obey" resonated inside my head and heart. I struggle with feeling like I need to "conform" or fit inside a premade mold in order to be a "good" member of the church. And it irks me, not like you would imagine I'm sure, it irks me to think of living my life by the ways that someone else dictates...how DARE you tell ME how I'M going to live my life kinda thing. Its a stubbornness thing, an independence and strongwilled sorta thing. But that line, well, it shows me that I need to be praying for the courage to accept the way the lord wants me to live my life. He knows ME, and while I'll NEVER be perfect, he loves me, he wants what is best for me, and that if I can overcome those feelings there is a whole lot in store for me.

I'm better

So yesterday was just a craptastic day all around. I'm not going to go into what all transpired, but it was bad enough that on my way home I had to pull over on the side of the road and cry...ok, I bawled my little eyes out. And then I continued my drive home, HOME to where those who love me best were waiting. The moment they saw me walking up to the door I could hear them shouting "MOMMY!!" and a smile started thinking about gracing my face. And the whole evening just got the best of me, and I felt so much lighter and able to cope.
So the house is still trashed, and the kitchen even more so since Cory has spent the last two nights canning corn, and I'm just going to go into my bedroom and shut the door and IGNORE the mess so that I can get through the reading I have set for today.
Oh, and the best part of my night was when my husband had me practically splitting my sides laughing, I don't laugh at just anything. In fact, I don't even smile very much. But he has a way of bringing it out in me, he is the perfect flip side to my coin.
I couldn't do this without the support I get from my family and close friends. I'm only amazing b/c you all keep me going ♥♥

I'm struggling

As I head into my third week of classes the stress is starting to amass...and now its the silly little things that are setting me off...I have some critical thinking questions that I desperately need to print out, and my printer ran out of ink this morning! I do not have the money to go buy a new cartridge, nor do I have to money to email all this to the print shop for them to print out...and one of the ppl in my study group sent attachments to me that I MUST have in a format that I cannot open. Come to find out that rather than take the time to type them all up(like the rest of us did)she just scanned pages of her notebook...I am not amused.
My house is trashed, and it doesn't seem to bother anyone but me, I'm pulling huge double duty with trying to run my family AND be a fabulous student. I just don't think I'm getting the support I need. But who do I have to turn to? My overworked husband?? If I mention that more needs to be done around the house all thats going to happen is an argument, and that sure isn't going to help anyones stress level. I'm coming off the heels of an extended weekend with the kids. They even have today off and I don't so I had to find an all day sitter(another thing to stress about). I got some school work done, but not nearly the amount that I needed to. I'm going to have to push myself hard the next two days to get done what needs to be done.
Ok, I've whined long enough. Its not like the whining fixed anything, but at least now I think I have vented long enough that I'm not going to spew nasty words about the nasty state of my house all over my husband...and thats gotta be a plus.

I'm a survivor!

I've survived the 2nd week of school. I still maintain that my Statistics class is a freaking JOKE, and am looking forward to some REAL instruction instead of just reviewing the PREFACE for TWO WEEKS. I am literally buried in Nursing and Pharmacology homework. And honestly, thats ok. I've got my little black planner that is keeping me on track with what I need to read, study, and whats due when. B/c BUH-leive you me...they don't kid around in the nursing program. I'm doing well actually. I did break my streak though :( My first two tests I got 100% on...the 3rd however...I missed one question and got a 95%. Its still a good grade. but its not an A. (and just so you know, anything lower than a 78 is an F in Nursing school...ya, I'm not lying) I did have another test yesterday, and I'm not sure of my score yet...I think I missed one. I'm not striving for perfection quite frankly, I just want to do the best that I can. And I'm no slacker thats for sure. It shocks me though that there are quite a few students who are already in danger of flunking out though. As hard as we all had to work to even get into the program I would have thought that more people would be doing better.
I better get off of the computer...I've got a bajillion(ok, more like 8) chapters that I need to review for ONE of my upcoming exams, and I have computer homeworks to get done, and med cards to write, and chapters to pre-read for next weeks lecture, and and and and :) I'm exhausted more than half the time, but I'm not really complaining and there is NO WAY I'm giving up...I want this, I've got this! <--remind me I said that if I do start to complain.