...and yet I'm not. Or at least I'm not as happy as I want to be. I have a good time for a few moments and then I just feel down in the dumps again. I really don't get it. Maybe it's because I'm stick struggling with this sickness. Perhaps it's because I have an incredible amount on my plate...responsibility is as responsibility does.
Whatever the reason I just want to curl up and avoid so many things. I'm working hard at working out :) so that should help. I'm on top of my classes...wellllll, errrrr...okay confession time: While studying for the HESI exam and the harder than it should have been compass math test, I fell behind in my online advanced computer class...now I'm over a month behind and I don't see myself catching up. So I either have to test out of the class or take an F, ugh.
Its gorgeous outside, and I made the most of it by taking Rylee to the park and we soaked up some sunshine and vitamin D. I also dropped off a special little something for Emily at school. She had such a rough day yesterday and by the time I picked her up at the grands house last night she was in tears. I mean literally sobbing, tears flooding her face and the front of my shirt, heart-wrenching, gut twisting sobs, that left her with a stuffy nose, a headache, and a blotchy face. No amount of consoling eased her pain. So my momtuition told me that she needed to know that she was loved, she needed something a little more than words. And since we spent so much one on one time last night, I thought that a little gift would lift her spirits. So I spent quiet a bit of time picking out a card(get this...the girl LOVES store bought cards), and a little something. I packed it all up pretty and dropped it at the office for her. I lifts my heart some to such a little thing for her. Well, it seems little, but it will mean so much. It won't make the difficulties go away, but it will let her know that I'm here, right beside her holding her hand. It will let her know that I love her with all my heart, that she is one of the most precious people in my life, that I see her beauty...that I believe in her.
I'm going to keep pushing to find my happiness wherever it may be hiding out. Somebody around here has a birthday tomorrow, and there is a cake to make tonight. The kids'll love that.
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