16 October 2012

Not part of the team...apparently

This afternoon I had my midterm evaluation. I knew what it would be for the most part. The one part I was uncertain of stemmed from a mishap with my concept map, but turned out not to even be stress worthy because it hadn't been graded yet. HOWEVER...I did get marked down for one thing, something they didn't feel deserved a U(unacceptable) but they did give me an S- and I was told to work on it. Apparently, I have some classmates who feel that I expect too much. That I get frustrated when I feel things are not up to my standards of learning. Basically, that I am not tolerant when people don't know there stuff. Oh, and that I tend to take over in a senario. Its not like this is new feedback to me! I darn well know that I am this way. If you don't want me to step in a take over then step up and do something so I don't. I've had feedback from many sources since I started this nursing program that people think I am this incredibly confident person. OH am I NOT! The only reason I step up and DO things or TAKE CHARGE is because no one else seems to do it or they hesitate. I am so self concious that it is painful. Constantly judging myself and freaking because I just know that other people are judging me too. But I have to keep that all on the inside. I am also very aware that I am not tolerant of other people's mistakes or shortcomings. I work on it continuously. What bothers me the most is that my classmates didn't come to me with this...they tattled like little children in grade school. Now its time to be done dwelling and move on. P.S. The Director of Nursing and the House nursing supervisors at work laughed when I told them why I got a slight mark down. They said "welcome to the club because we ALL got that kind of feedback in nursing school. It just means you are going to be a great leader and a very proficient nurse." So we shall see...

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