Its the AMANDA show...

So lately a familiar phrase can be heard coming out of my mouth...I'm a one Amanda show. How and why has this happened? For years I was so busy gestating, birthing, feeding, diapering, and playing with babies that life outside my own home just really didn't exist for me. Flash forward, I now have a 4th grader, a 1st grader, a kindergartener, AND a pre k headstart kid.
Each of these schools have a parents committee of some kind. And in my own ways I have been able to actively participate and help out WITHOUT joining the committee OR attending regular meetings OR being an 'elected' officer....why should I change that now? I seriously do help out quite a bit with book fairs, carnivals, being a 'room' mother kinda thing. The 'elected' officers of these committees know that if they call me with enough notice I will do it. In all these years I have only had to say NO once...so I really feel that I give what I can...why can't that be enough?
For over 4 years now I have been a 'paid' volunteer for my community library...under the table pay...I have spent countless hours making the library a better place and doing my absolute best to assist people in any capacity at the library. From teaching people how to use email, to looking up books on specific items, to copying and sending ancestoral information, organizing and managing summer reading program activities, moving the entire library to another room with only a few other volunteers...why can't that be enough??
So this has totally turned into a whine fest...But the point that I really wanted to make is that I do help out, I do my part...I go above and beyond quite often to accomplish tasks asked of me. So now that I'm taking classes and working towards becoming an RN, I need to scale back. The people who have come to depend on me to do so many of these things become hostile when I tell them that I just can't and my priorities are a little different this semester...I have to scale back in order to keep my sanity and my family intact...why should I be given harsh treatment for that?
Bottom line (s)...sometimes it sucks being a reliable person...a little appreciation would be welcome...I'm not Superwoman, her suit would look horrible on me!....I will still help out, but not as much as I have in the past, I'm not totally deserting, just heading in a different direction...

♫...A GRANDMOTHER just like you!♫

So Rylee and I have been enjoying some one on one time with all the others in school and Dad off working most days. We were at the library a few days ago, and Rylee starts chatting away...our conversation went something like this...

"Your name is Mommy, but sometimes I call you Moto Moto" said Rylee.

" Very true, your name is Rylee, but somtimes I call you Roober" Said I.

" We should change your name to something special!" said Rylee.

" But I already have the most special name I can think of! Being your mom is special to me" said I.

" I can think of an even more special name....GRANDMA is the most specialist name ever! We should call you Grandma!" said Rylee...

So we know who rates first in her book! Someday I will have the joy and priviledge of being a Grandmother...but I really want to be called Nana. Actually it doesn't matter what they call me, so long as they know who I am and love me as much I as I know I will love them!

These days with just Rylee at home are so precious to me, This is the first time I have ever had a 4 year old at home with no other kids, I guess I never realized just how creative and spontaneous and giggly they can be. At the same time its a little taxing to have just ONE at home, I end up doing alot more entertaining than usual. Still, this time is so precious to me and I will cherish it always. We get to do things that we normally can't do, like having breakfast together at the park this morning...and later if we get the kitchen all cleaned up we will paint our nails! Just Rylee and me. Me and my Rylee, and it will be fun even though I'm not 'grandma'.♥♥