Blessed

I feel so blessed, for so many reasons. I know that I whine, complain, and have complete meltdowns quite often over the state of things in my life. But when I really stop to ponder all that I have...it humbles me and sends me to my knees in supplication and prompts me to overflow with gratitude for all that I've been blessed with.
There are times when its hard for me to keep my focus on the big picture. Yesterday was one of those days. Long story short, as we were walking out of the dr's office yesterday our pediatrition(whom we didn't see that day, but the nurse practitioner instead) stopped me specifically to ask how the nursing program was going for me. She also said that she wanted to tell me that even though its hard right now, I have to keep going. That even though my children may resent what I'm doing right now, that they will eventually realize that I'm not doing this just for myself, but for them too. That they will come to respect and honor me for the choice that I've made. She told me all of this without me even mentioning just how hard its been for the past little while. I firmly believe that she was prompted to tell me those things. I firmly believe that Heavenly Father needed to get that message to me and chose her to deliver it. Things like that show me how much I am blessed.
Another reason that I'm so blessed is in the family that I have, always willing to do what they can when they can. You all know who you are, and that I will forever appreciate the things you do.
Music is another amazing blessing in my life. The power that any given song holds just staggers me at times. I had one of those times this past Sunday during sacrament meeting. We sang Hymn 169, and the line " And silently we prayfor courage to accept thy will, to listen and obey" resonated inside my head and heart. I struggle with feeling like I need to "conform" or fit inside a premade mold in order to be a "good" member of the church. And it irks me, not like you would imagine I'm sure, it irks me to think of living my life by the ways that someone else dictates...how DARE you tell ME how I'M going to live my life kinda thing. Its a stubbornness thing, an independence and strongwilled sorta thing. But that line, well, it shows me that I need to be praying for the courage to accept the way the lord wants me to live my life. He knows ME, and while I'll NEVER be perfect, he loves me, he wants what is best for me, and that if I can overcome those feelings there is a whole lot in store for me.