Insignificant me

Often, I hear people say that every person has something that only THEY can do in this life. Something that nobody else can do better.
I happen to think I am the exception to this rule. I can't think of one thing I do better than anyone I know. I'm not quirky, I'm not crafty, I'm just not all that talented. I am an average joe-ina all the way....and yes, I'm very insecure about it.
Its an ongoing sort of insecurity. Something that is still hanging around from my pre CCM days too. I would rather stay home curled up with a book to read...its not going to judge me, more than that, I don't have to work myself up just by thinking that it *might* be judging me.
Its so stinkin' hard for me to be around people that I don't know really well or that I haven't known for a loooooooong time.
Take volleyball for instance. I usually txt the three people that I actually know who play to see if they will be there. Otherwise I'm stuck with these ladies that I don't know well, and play muchmuchmuch better than I do.
This last week none of those friends showed up, but I still stayed and played. I was by far the worst player out there, I think every one of these ladies played on the varsity team in HS. Yet as I made a few mistakes in a row, the insecurity crept in and I literally almost walked out mid game, I felt(even though there was no evidence to support this) that those ladies were thinking about how awful I was and how I probably shouldn't even come next time. Or maybe my team mates were wishing I had skipped out this week. I was so down on myself even though I really was busting butt and actually made some kick ass plays, all I could see were my mistakes, my failures. I stayed though and played the whole time. I still want to go back, I consider it a big personal challenge and one that is going to constantly challenge me to put my butt on the line W
Thats just one example out of a million everyday things. I believe that its more my perception of things that an actual reality that people are judging me.

Do you know that everyone of those ladies reminded me to come play next week too?