A road somewhat familiar

I found out a few days ago that a cousin of mine was sent to a type of life skills living. Basically, she is living with a couple about 4 hrs from her home, she will have limited contact with her own family, she will receive counseling and be required to take her meds. Its like foster care, but her parents still retain ALL parental rights. My first thought was a huge flashback to my time at Cross Creek Manor. The good, the bad, and the UGLY....me and my attitude being the ugly lol. There is a big age difference between my cousin and I...she is roughly half my age. I called her mom to see how they were doing, because, honestly now that I'm 'done with my time' and I'm a parent now myself. I can see how sending me to treatment was so much harder on my parents than it was on me. I did ask if I was allowed to have her address and if I could write her. I basically wrote her a fluff letter. All full of I love you's and other fluff support statements. I don't even know if she'll read my letter. I do know that she is either a) beyond caring about anything at this point or b)in the honeymoon phase...trying to pretend that everything is fine. She is alot different from me, in that I chose to medicate my own problems with drugs and alcohol. She has a true chemical imbalance and is def. on the behavior problem end of the spectrum...if such a spectrum exists someplace other than my own head.
I've said it so many times, but I'm going to say it again. I didn't like being in treatment. For the first year I was there, I made it well known that I didn't want anything to do with their 'program'. A point came where realization hit, and I finally saw the truth of my life as I had been living it. It was never easy. I'm so glad that I have parents who were willing to sacrifce so much for me, to love and cherish me enough that they did so much for me, to get me to a place that I would be safe from myself and the world, a place that would get through to me and teach me the skills and give me the tools to live my life without drugs, alcohol and other destructive behaviors. I'm hopeful that my cousin will at least read my letter, and write me back. I don't even dare hope that we can develop a deeper relationship. Goodness knows that I don't hold the answers for her, she has to find these on her own, and I have a good amount of faith that she will. I love her, and will continue to support her in becoming the best her that she can be.

Health goal check

So let me just start right out by saying, I have a goal that is not going to get to come to completion. I made the goal to be able to ride my bike to the turnoff and back(about 11.3 miles) before the end of the year. for the first 4 months of the year, I worked really really hard to get closer to that goal. Then...well, I could give you a huge list of excuses...the biggest by far being that classes got insane once spring break was over. I know that I said more than once that it felt as though my instructors were trying to cram in an extra semester worth of work into those last 7 weeks.
But now I've been out of school for like 6 weeks...if not longer. So why haven't I done anything to get myself back on track?!?! Goodness knows I surely need too. I am crabby, and depressed, not eating so very well, and my back problems have escalated to the point that on Fathers day, I had to leave church as soon as my darling primary children were done singing so that I could come home and take some heavy duty narcotic pills. Thank heavens the Daddy in this house slept most of the day(he didn't get home until 7am that morning and had to go to work again at 6pm) so there wasn't tooo much pressure on me! And his dinner request was beyond simple. Homemade mac and cheese....extra cheesy.
But back to the health stuffs. I dream about working out again, I'm not kidding. I really do dream about it. I have looked into the way I want to approach it this time. I mean, I loooooved going to the gym, but I know that its just not feasible at the moment. I'm pinching as many pennies as possible to be able to pay for my gas this coming semester, and I have shelled out more than you could imagine for books and scrubs...and I still have more stuffs to buy.
SOOOOOOO, I want the working out thing to become a staple for me....like, well, like facebook and pinterest, or like going on a date with my husband. Something that gets done on a regular basis, something I look forward to and ekk out extra time to sneak it into my day.
Here are my ideas on how to make this possible for ME
shovel out the play room and put the extra tv in there to work out to dvd's.
Also store yoga mat and all weights/work out accessories in that same location.
Post various workouts on the wall...or make a place that I can hang them up and take them down and store.
I think I will set a workout challenge for the kids and I every day. Not anything hard mind you, just things like spend 20 or 30 mins outside with the jump ropes...actually using them to jump rope and not lasso things lol.
I do have to say that I'm doing really well with my sleep health, which has been an issue in the past. Minus today, I am getting 7 to 8 hours of solid sleep every night! Due to the aforementioned back pain, I have been spending time every night doing stretches and a few yoga poses.
I'm going to admit that I have looked into some diet pills that would 'help' me out...available by RX only. there are pros and cons, and while I really really want to do it...there is just something that holds me back.
I've also looked into having weight loss surgery. Yeah, I really am THAT big...I qualify based on many different things actually...

HOLY LONG POST!!!

Thanks to a dear friend of mine for encouraging a health related blog post. Its getting me out of a hole I've dug for myself :)

Some summer favorites

Its been awhile :D I'm busy living my summer to the fullest...and being slothful all at the same time! Don't worry, its not going to last much longer, I got an email from my nursing instructor that detailed all the things that I need to be learning on my own right now in order to be ready to jump in head first once the real semester starts. I'm already overwhelmed every time I think of it...so for now I'm just NOT thinking of it...too much anyways.
I just wanted to pop in and share a few of our favorite summer recipes with you. I hope you enjoy them just as much as we do!

Best Homemade Lemonade
1 3/4 cup sugar
8 cups water
1 1/2 cups fresh squeezed lemon juice

In a small suacepan combine sugar and 1 cup of the water-stir to dissolve. bring to a full rolling boil. remove from heat and let cool to room temp, then finish cooling in the fridge. I usually pour my syrup into a glass mason jar to put in the fridge.

Stir together lemon juice and syrup, add remaining 7 cups of water, using ice cubes if desired.

Quick Pickles

6 cups sliced cucumbers
1 cup sliced onion(red onions are the BEST for this IMHO!!)
2 cups vinegar(white or cider)
1 cup water
2 cups sugar
2 tsp. pickling salt(NON iodized salt)
2 tsp celery seed
1 tsp mustard seed 2 cloves garlic

put the cloves in the bottom of a large glass jar or two quart size jars. fill with cucs and onions. combine the rest of the ingredients in a saucepot and bring to a boil. Pour into bottle(s)and keep in fridge with lids on overnight.

I'm hoping to find time between playing in the water, reading, fishing and being slothful to have some more fun summer recipes to share soon.

Change in patterns

Since Saturday last week I seen a dramatic change in my internet habits. I usually spend a little time in the morning checking all my favorite things: Facebook, Blogs, wmicentral, pinterest, bank(not really a favorite, just a necessity), email. Now before I check any of my regular haunts, I'm on inciweb, and other fire related news sites...it doesn't sit well with me. And its not just the first thing I check, I check it at least 5 times a day. What can I say? I'm compulsive, I'm a worrywart. Mostly I know its because I'm not there, and I hate not being 'in the loop'. And its compounded by the fact that my Dad is the fire chief in Luna, my brother a firefighter, my mom is there, my husband was on the perimeter of the fire for two days. Cory will be going back on Thursday to work again. The hardest part is not having even text capabilities...I think I ranted on this subject already though. So I'll take myself off to bed to rest my weary body :)

That man of mine

Is it any wonder that I haven't had time to post here on my blog? We have been trying to live our summer to the fullest...only somethings are beyond our control. Like right now, Cory is out working on the Wallow Fire. He's been gone since early Sunday morning. No idea when he will be back. Perhaps tonight, but I'm not counting on it. And who knows, he could come back and get a real nights sleep only to head back up there. We knew ahead of time that he was going up there, so we didn't have to do a last minute scramble like with the last forest fire...that one happened when he was at home with the kids by himself and was told to go NOW. I was at girl scouts and he had to scramble for a sitter. Thank heavens I have amazing cousins! Cory even left me a little love note on our bathroom mirror for me to see after he left and I woke up. Made my day, I tell ya. I got to talk to him last night close to midnight, just long enough so that I knew he was okay, and to relay some info to him and visa versa. This morning I awoke to a little love note text from him, again, my day is set. He melts my heart, that Deputy of mine. We can't keep in regular contact even with texting b/c the area he is in only has spotty service since the tower burned down and the 'temporary tower' doesn't seem to work so great. I should hear from him again tonight and I'm looking forward to it. I guess the love notes are the trade off since I did his ironing the other night.
What I wouldn't give to have another 4 day vacation with the man I love. I think I'm going to start planning one right now! Nothing as extravagant as Vegas this time, just something for the two of us....away.